My Toddler Wants Nothing To Do With Me – How To Get Their Attention?

Toddlers can be confusing as they start to grow up. One moment they are clinging on to you and showing all the love in the world, and the next moment they might want to stay isolated. In fact, most parents often complain that my toddler wants nothing to do with me! So, why does that happen?

Relax, you are doing just fine. Basically, toddlers have very unpredictable mood swings. It may happen randomly because your toddler is learning to be independent or because you are not spending enough time with them.

Besides, a toddler can behave the same way for several other reasons. In all these cases, there are some crucial strategies you need to master to win back your toddler’s attention. In fact, if you do not act in time, it can keep getting worse. Here, you can learn all these facts in detail in this article. So, let’s delve deeper and find out!

Why Is Your Toddler Drifting Away From You?

You may often notice that your toddler is not responding to your commands and affectionate requests in the way they used to. Actually, your toddler goes through some psychological changes which cause this.

Many parents will complain that their toddlers are not responding like they used to. Or, some even complain that their toddler is fond of one parent only and has started disliking the company of the other. Parents get worried; what if this turns into despise for the parent!

If this is happening to you and your toddler, relax and don’t get worried. Just as adults don’t feel like communicating the same way every day, our toddlers think the same too.

Perhaps they are not going through the complex web of stresses we face. Their problems are straightforward and adorable! But this can cause some changes in them too. They also go through a psychological transition that becomes apparent in their behaviour. 

So, your toddler may avoid you for a while or drift away. But don’t stress it out. Perhaps, he is not responding to your commands now. But he knows he can crawl back in at the end of the day for a warm hug from you. You are his safe place, and he knows this too!

Is It Normal For Toddlers To Reject A Parent?

Yes, it is pretty standard for toddlers to show rejection of a parent’s love. There is no need to take it personally or by heart. It just means your toddler needs your attention more. 

In fact, there are several things that you need to understand first to learn why your toddler may be showing a rejecting attitude. 

You Are Spending Less Time With Him

Kids are easy to deal with. You play with them, make them happy, smile and giggle, and they become your big fans. Of course, the parent who spends more time with a toddler will be closer than a parent who has stayed outside most of the time. 

In most cases, toddlers tend to be closer to their mothers. From attaining motherhood by giving birth to teaching the toddler to walk and talk, mothers get to interact more. Here is a guideline for parenthood for new moms. You can learn how to be a good mom! 

Ego Issues

Often, toddlers tend to develop an ego problem. It actually denotes the time of their transition. Actually, the toddlers become tired at one point listening to the constant commands of all the older people around them. They try to revolt and think they can show their power by avoiding the elders. 

It happens with most toddlers, and it is temporary. With time, your toddler learns to get over this phase as well.

Random Cause

Most toddlers will just avoid you randomly. Blame it on the god of mood swings or what; your toddler may randomly stop talking to you!

You will notice that even though he is not listening to you now, he is finding some excuse to crawl back his way to you after some time. 

Becoming Independent 

You may have seen that most toddlers are fond of doing their own things alone. In fact, they want to eat by themselves, fold their clothes, organise their stuff, etc. 

They try to become independent, so they don’t have to depend on you for the next thing. It is when you will see your toddler wants nothing to do with you.

Spend A Specific Phase

Perhaps, your toddler was going through a rough phase, and the one parent who showed him more affection grew closer to him during that phase. Usually, mothers get to spend more time, so toddlers tend to grow closer to them. The attachment to moms begins naturally.

Look out for your toddler’s phases. Try to understand what makes him unhappy. These events can bring in a rejecting attitude towards the other parent.

Disease

Sometimes, you may think that you are doing everything on your part to get your toddler’s attention. But nothing is working.

Actually, it may be due to some diseases. ADHD is one of the leading causes. Also, your toddler may be hard of hearing and may not understand your commands fully. So, get the routine tests done.

You Are Rude

Most importantly, maybe you are a rude parent causing the toddler to reject you. You are shouting at him at the least possible inconvenience; you are abusing him physically, threatening him, building fear inside him – you are a terrible parent yourself. 

In fact, if you do not mend your ways, your toddler will never find comfort in you. Your toddler will keep drifting away, and it will continue till adulthood.

Here’s How To Win Back Your Toddler’s Attention 

Winning back a toddler’s love and attention can be a tough nut to crack. The moods are unpredictable. But if you know how to strike the iron while it is still hot, you can quickly gain back his love.

In fact, there are a few things you need to take care of and a few things you need to do actively. These are –

Spend Time With Him But Do Not Force 

You need to play games, puzzles, quizzes, watch cartoons together, giggle with him a little and do all the things he loves. To be fair, you have to spend quality time with your toddler. Besides, you can also practice fine motor activities with them. It helps them develop skills too.

In fact, it would be best if you did not force him. If you move him to do things he is unwilling to, he will start to grow aversion at one point. He will no longer love your company.

Encourage Them And Give Compliments

You must praise your toddler for the good things he does and the tasks he accomplishes. Practice the habit of saying, “Attaboy!”, “Well done,” or “You are a good/smart kid.” All these help a lot to boost their self-confidence. 

So, if you give more compliments, you can become your toddler’s favourite. And if your appraisals have encouraged him to accomplish the task, you are already his favourite!

Don’t Be Negative

Actually, your approach can create all the difference. There are several ways of saying “no” to someone. Even if it is your toddler, you must avoid the habit of saying no again and again.

Use the alternate ways to reply in the negative. For instance, your toddler wants to go outside and play. Avoid saying no straight to his face. Instead, say, we can stay inside and watch cartoons together. Your choice of words can affect him.

Teach Them To Do The Right Thing

A toddler should learn from his childhood that he must do the right thing not out of fear but because it is the right thing to do. 

Perhaps, you scolding him will make him do things out of fear. But he must not do the right thing because he is afraid of you. He must do it because it is the only thing that should be done. 

Use Incentives 

Basically, it is like rewarding your child every time he does something good. You can give him beautiful stickers, buy stationeries or treat him with chocolates. In short, you can give him something to make him happy in return for his tasks. 

It is an excellent way to attract your toddler’s attention. But be careful not to provide too many incentives. Otherwise, your toddler will expect some reward for every minute job he does. It is very unhealthy for him.

Do Not Yell Or Criticise 

Please do not shout at your toddler or criticise him for the mistakes he makes. It will demotivate him and lower his self-esteem.

Actually, yelling is the wrong way of parenting. You should treat your toddler with love and care. Naturally, the parent who shows the most affection becomes the favourite one.

Conclusion

Toddlers are still figuring out their lives in their adorable ways. They can be hard to understand for any grown-up because we are way past that phase of our lives and can hardly remember anything from that phase. So, observe closely and then act upon it.

Hence, to the parents thinking my toddler wants nothing to do with me, it is not the end of the world. Perhaps, there has been some lack of communication. Try to bridge the gap and show some love.