How To Be A Good Mom? Mother’s Guide To Parenthood

Motherhood means loving someone unconditionally and discovering the protective force you never thought you had within yourself. It is to love and care for someone who solely depends on you for survival. The joy a child brings into a mother’s life is immense. But the stress and anxiety are immense as well. 

Make sure to fulfill their necessities, make time for them and prioritize them over anything. Be there for them when they need you the most.

Motherhood isn’t in any way easy. Fulfilling all these qualities is easier said than done, and providing your child with proper guidance is extremely important. Hence, to find an easier path to parenthood and ensure the appropriate recommendation for your children, I have accumulated easy parenting tips that will help you on this rough journey.

Parenting Tips Every Mother Needs

The road to parenthood won’t always be easy. This rough and tough road can question the self-esteem of many parents. It can also make them question if they are good enough for their children. Hence, here’s a rundown of many essential tips to make this road easier, especially for mothers.

Take Better Care Of Yourself 

Look, self-care is important. If you are not happy yourself, how can you ensure the happiness of your children? Your traumas, your struggles, and the stress you are feeling will eventually impact your behavior. If you are a loving parent but turn out to be black holes of emotional labor, you will do your children more harm than good.

You need to take care of your well-being to ensure the well-being of your children. If you bundle up emotions, your behavior will reflect that. If you didn’t recover from trauma during your childhood or adulthood, your behavior would reflect that. Your children shouldn’t be the victims of your bad mental health. 

They shouldn’t have to bear your behavior which is in no way right but seems correct to you as you never recovered from it. Your lack of emotional maturity might make your children create a distant space away from you. If you have issues yourself, resolve them first, as there’s a high chance you might put your children through misery due to those unresolved issues. 

Don’t Hesitate To Ask For Help

If you are feeling stressed and angry, there’s a high chance you won’t be able to respond to your child’s needs helpfully. Children shouldn’t be the ones to handle your anger issues, your mood swings, your self-centric behavior, and other possible problems. Hence, you must analyze yourself first. Look out for the behaviors which are hurting your children.

Take medical help and arrange counseling sessions if you need one. Consider going to a psychiatrist to talk out your issues. Take your time and think about things thoroughly by taking short breaks. You are a human, you have emotions too, and it’s natural to have negative feelings

Prioritize Your Happiness As Well

If you are happy, if you have great mental stability, you will be able to take better care of your children. Your behavior shapes them, so don’t just dump your issues on them. Take your time to resolve your problems; slowly change your behavior which might have a negative impact. Take care of yourself and your mental health. 

Follow these steps, and you will find the key to your happiness and the happiness of your children as well. Your child loves you, they deserve happiness, and a happy mother will most surely keep their child happy. Take time for yourself and come back as a happy, refreshed woman to continue being a good mother to your children. 

Communication Is The Key To Be A Good Mom

Every child is unique in their way. Communication is the key to knowing your child and having thorough knowledge about their strengths and weaknesses. Kids have their world. It is necessary to have a comprehensive understanding of their world and interests. To be a good mom, you must first thoroughly understand your child.

Every child is different. They have different hobbies, interests, and strengths. Spend time with them, take an interest in their activities and play along with them. The more time you spend with your children, the more comfortable they will become around you.

Importance Of Establishing A Good Communication Ground

This is extremely important in the long run, especially when going through puberty. Establishing easy and effective communication with your children will help to diminish any barriers you have with your children. They will communicate with you more even during their secretive teenage years.

They will be comfortable with you enough to speak about their fears and failures. And most importantly, they won’t hide their mistakes from you. They will come to you for advice, and they will be comfortable speaking their mind. Effective communication will enable your children to think of you as a friend with whom they can share everything.

Hence, sit back and take an interest in your children’s activities. Effective communication isn’t only about words. It is also about the love you show. Communicating with them more often will make them feel more comfortable around you and more loved. 

They wouldn’t think twice before sharing something with you. You will also gain insight into their world, something you could have never achieved with terrible communication skills. Your children would open up to you and look up to you when in trouble.

Hence, establish that comfort level so that later on, when parenting gets difficult, you will still be able to get through them. Because of the years of easy communication you had with them all along. 

 Allow Your Kids To Fail.

Let’s face it; we are not perfect. We are all humans, and we make mistakes. Hence, keeping high expectations from your children might not bring good consequences. 

Your child will constantly be under pressure to do better, to be the best in everything. They will think of their mistakes as failures, and most of the time, they won’t be able to handle their failures calmly. Their losses will create a sense of disappointment, which can easily be converted to worthlessness.

Hence, as parents, we allow our kids to fail. Don’t pressure them to reach your expectations. If you have an expectation of them that is so high that they can’t reach it, it’s only going to bring them sadness and nothing else. Failure is a part of life, and children should never feel guilty.

Don’t keep Unrealistic Expectations 

If they are not doing well in academics, let them figure out why this happens. Let them choose the subjects they want to study. Let them choose a career according to their preference. Children shouldn’t have to kill their dreams just to meet your expectations.

They won’t be the best in every field out there. They might be the best at something and the worst at something else. Let them know that this is completely fine. There’s absolutely no pressure to excel in everything. Children should only participate in extracurricular activities they enjoy the most, not what their parents want.

If you normalize that failures can happen to us, they won’t feel immense pressure on themselves. They will work hard in the subjects and activities they enjoy the most and excel in the fields they are passionate about. They won’t fear failures and will focus on subjects they enjoy studying. Children should be able to enjoy their lives without worrying about their parent’s expectations. 

 Constantly Finding Faults With The Children

If you constantly pick out your child’s faults and shortcomings, they will always remain tense around you. During any chore or job, they will always question themselves. Constantly finding faults in your children will diminish their confidence. This, in turn, might heighten their anxiety level.

Hence, focus on their strengths and acknowledge the good qualities they have. This will also enable children to focus on their qualities and accept themselves just as they are. They won’t feel imperfect and will slowly get rid of their bad qualities with time. Constantly finding faults in your children is not a good thing.

Allow Your Child To Figure It Out

It is also essential to let your children figure out some situations independently. If you are always there pointing out their mistakes, they won’t grow the ability to figure out their mistakes on their own.

They will ultimately rely on you as they know mommy is there to fix things every time they make a mess. Hence, let them figure out their mistakes and encourage them to own up to them. 

Even if they make a huge mistake, encourage them to get up and make a comeback. Point out what they did wrong, but don’t stop there. Teach them how to rectify that mistake. Make them understand the severity of their mistake. In that way, they won’t repeat the same mistake.

Teach them to apologize and make them take responsibility for the mess they created. In this way, your children will be able to handle their mistakes and will also know how to fix them. They won’t make excuses for their mistakes. They will acknowledge them, correct them and make sure not to repeat the same mistake.

 Make Sure To Keep Your Patience.

Patience is the key to becoming a good mother. This is a quality you must have to become a better mother. As the kids grow up, they start exploring the world in their ways. But while exploring and creating a world of their own, they can be pretty careless. 

Kids tend to be naughty. For instance, they might hand paint your walls with colors or spill food. Still, it is better to maintain your patience instead of screaming at them during these circumstances. You can even take a short break; give yourself a time-out if you are frustrated. But it is best if you are patient with them instead of screaming at them.

Kids will reflect on the behavior they see. If you are patient with them, they will also pick up these qualities. Being patient and making them understand that they should not do something is a better method to go for rather than shouting at them. They will throw fewer tantrums, and you will be able to build a healthy relationship with them.

 Make Sure The Discipline Matches The Crime.

Well, kids are not perfect. To fix their mistakes, they do need discipline in their life. But a good mom will make sure that the penalty matches the crime. Your kids shouldn’t have to go through a tough time-out for a small mistake. You need to ensure that the kids are not paying a heavy price for a small mistake.

While disciplining your children, assess the situation first. Discipline them based on the severity of their mistake. It is not necessary to be mean to them while disciplining. This will do more harm than good. Make them understand their error with love and in a gentle way first. Calmly explain why their action was wrong and teach them the right way to behave.

The most important job of parents is to teach their children appropriate behavior. If your child misbehaves and throws tantrums whenever you try making them understand, it’s time to discipline them. The best way to discipline them is by arranging time-outs.

Time-outs 

Time-outs are a practical discipline tool. If your child keeps making a mess, put them in a time-out. If they are throwing tantrums and are being aggressive, then firmly put them in a time-out and tell them to come back when they are in control. Tell them to come back after calming down and when they are ready to understand your words.

Time-outs will prevent your children from repeating the same mistakes. It acts as a great warning tool in disciplining your child. This strategy will also help your child develop self-management skills from an early age. 

Be Consistent

You must also remain consistent with your words when you are disciplining them. If you doubt how to discipline them, they won’t know what rules to follow. 

If you are constantly filled with doubt, your children will not take your words seriously when disciplining them. 

Analyze Your Child’s Behavior

Also another helpful tip while disciplining them is to analyze their behavior first. See if there is any pattern in their inappropriate behavior. For instance, if they are constantly misbehaving with their sibling, try to understand the root of this behavior. This behavior might arise because they are jealous of their siblings.

Hence, try to listen to them first before solving the problem in these situations. The ability to understand your children’s behavior is what makes a good mother. Make your child realize that he is not a bad kid; it’s just bad behavior. This will help you avoid labeling your child as bad and help the child get rid of that behavior faster.

 When You Are Wrong, Own It

Children will learn most of these things from their parents. They will try to impersonate your behavior. If you make a mistake, it is better to own it and apologize to your children.

This behavior will teach them two crucial things in life. First, if you accept your mistakes in front of them, they will learn to accept theirs. Children do realize all your mistakes. And if you don’t accept them and do not admit your flaws, your children understand that too. The next time they commit a mistake, a thought will linger in their head.

A question such as ‘mom and dad didn’t accept their mistake, why should I?’ and such questions developing in your child’s mind is not good. They will never learn to accept their mistakes and fix them.

Most of the time, they might just make excuses for their mistakes. It will give rise to inappropriate behavior, but it also might cause a gap between you and your child. Your children might lose their respect for you if you never admit that you are wrong.

If you admit your mistake, this will also teach your children to be more humble. They will learn the precious lesson that everybody in their life makes mistakes, but you need to be humble enough to admit them.

Admitting your mistakes will not only prevent the situation from worsening, but they will respect you a lot more than before. Respect is, after all, a quality that needs to be earned.

Top Qualities Of A Good Mother

Being a mother isn’t an easy task. Motherhood can be pretty tricky, especially for mothers who have multiple children. It can be havoc to handle kids, especially if they are naughty. But to be a good mother, you need to have some qualities within yourself. Acquiring these qualities below will enable you to handle your kids easily and have a loving bond with them.

 Be Respectful

As a parent, you can’t only expect respect from your children. Respect can never be one-sided. You need to respect their opinions and their point of view too. They might have a valid point of view but goes against yours. Just because it goes against you doesn’t necessarily mean they are wrong. Respect them and try to understand their opinions as well.

The only way they will respect you is if you respect them back. Kids learn from you. If you give them respect, they understand that. And hence, they will tend to provide you with respect as well. It’s like a tit-for-tat mechanism. If you respect their opinions, they will grow to respect yours too.

 Be Supportive And Loving

As a mother, show your children that you have their backs in every situation. Let them know that you will support them no matter what. This support enables your children to be more open to you. They will be more comfortable with you and won’t worry about relying on you. 

Your child will know that no matter what ups and downs he faces in his life, his parents will be there for him. Gaining this reliance from your children is a big thing to achieve. And your children will never have a single complaint about you being a bad parent.

Your child needs you, even if they don’t know that themselves. Your child needs your guidance and assurance when hitting a rough patch in life. And as parents, you owe this love and support to them. This is your primary job. Don’t let your children feel alone in their darkest times. It will be a horrible thing to do as parents. 

 Be More Forgiving

Your children are not perfect little munchkins. They are humans; they make mistakes. Hence, don’t punish them for too long. Try to forgive them instead of holding a grudge against them. Even if they make a big mistake, after disciplining them, sort it out with hugs and kisses. Kids deserve forgiveness; they are still learning.

Forgiveness works in both ways. When you make a mistake as a mom, ask for their forgiveness. This will make them understand that no one’s perfect. Everyone makes mistakes, but they do need to ask forgiveness for them. This will also teach your children to treat other people nicely as well.

Make your children know that it’s not healthy to hold onto anger, to hold onto negative thoughts. Teach your children the art of forgiveness to remain kind to others. 

 Approachable 

If you are an extremely strict parent, there’s a high chance that your children will fear you more than they love you. They won’t approach you easily with their problems and will bundle up their emotions. Hence, apart from disciplining your kids, you should also show them some love from time to time. Create a positive aura between you and your child so that they can approach you easily.

Your children should feel free to approach you with their problems. If you are too strict with them, you will easily close that door to sharing. They will tend to hide their problems, especially the sensitive ones. Children who have strict parents also show severe behavioral issues as they grow up. 

They might also have severe anger issues, resulting in aggressive behavior. Hence, create a healthy and easy communication pathway with them starting from an early age so that your children can approach you with all their problems. 

 Honesty

Be honest with your children. Make sure that your children do impersonate this characteristic of yours. Teach them that they need to be good and honest in their life. Don’t do this only when someone views them or when they make a mistake. Teach them this quality in everyday life when no one is even looking. 

Honesty is the best policy, and your children should learn this from an early age. This lesson will reduce their tendency to lie and become good human beings. Every kid has a personality. But shape this personality with your wisdom and your experience. 

You need to prioritize making your kid a good person over everything. They need to be good human beings first, and they must learn this lesson from home. If you teach them to be honest from an early age, they will be habituated. They won’t pick up bad behaviors from their friends or get influenced by people. 

Teach them to be honest with whatever action they take in their life, even if they go through the most challenging times. This is by far the best lesson you can teach your kids. And a good mother will most definitely teach this to her children. Be honest with them, and they will learn this valuable quality in return.

Conclusion

Motherhood is an exceptional journey where you have to make the right decisions at every point for your child’s well-being. Motherhood demands selflessness and the power to prioritize your child over everything else. Hence, it’s pretty natural to feel lost during this challenging journey. It’s only human to doubt yourself and question whether you are doing a good job or not.

It’s also completely okay if you always have this question, how to be a good mom in your mind. But don’t worry as this question has quite an easy answer. Just be good to them and use all the above segments as your guidance. Follow these tips by heart, and you will be able to elevate yourself to reach the title of a good mom!