Am I Ready To Have A Baby? Things To Consider Before Getting A Child

Having a child sounds like a fun sport only in imagination. You have to be ready for many sacrifices, compromises, and adjustments in real life. 

You are not ready to have a baby if you are not self-sufficient and if your job hours are frequently longer than the time you set aside for yourself, especially if you are considering having a baby due to peer pressure.

On the contrary, plenty of other signs indicates that you’re ready to have a baby. In this article, I will be answering the most common question asked by almost every woman, am I ready to have a baby?

Am I Ready To Have a Baby? 

Your financial, medical, and mental state are the first aspects of being ready for a child. If you are not financially, medically, and mentally sound, you should not be thinking of babies. You will have even less to give your child when you do not have enough to give yourself.

For years, married women often questioned themselves, am I ready to have a baby? While there are numerous tests and quizzes you can take on this, only very few of that help conclude. Remember, the desire of a child has to come from within you.  

Some psychologists specialise in women’s health have researched every perspective regarding childbirth. There are many other social, financial, and emotional factors that you have to consider. 

If you are in such a state that ‘requires’ you to think of having a baby, the chances are you’re not ready to have a baby at all. Because if you were, there would not have been any situation in the first place. Here are some important questions that you can ask yourself to find out if you’re ready to have a baby :

1. What is the reason for thinking of having a baby? 
2. Am I too fast? Will it be a problem for me if I don’t have the baby right now? Is that problem medical or social?
3. Can I afford to have a child?
4. Is the relationship with my partner good?
5. Am I too busy with work?
6. Can I manage the time with the baby?
7. Do we both want the baby?
8. Are my husband and me on the same page about parenting and taking responsibility?
9. Am I mentally prepared to go through all the physical pain?
10. Are there any past experiences or traumas that can affect my way of parenting?

First, you need to ask all the questions to yourself and discuss every aspect with your partner. If you are feeling positive about every answer and discussion, then congratulations! You are probably ready to have a baby! 

If you are still feeling confused or worried and are not sure if the answers satisfy you, you might want to take more time on this. Let’s talk about some signs that tell whether you are ready to have a baby or not. 

Signs You Are Ready To Have A Baby 

You are home almost all the time, watching YouTube videos of babies and parenting. You have already started making warm clothes for your little ones, and all your birth controls are in the trash. That’s a perfect start! But are you ready to have a baby? Let’s see the signs:

You Are Ready To Compromise Your Me Time

One of the biggest things you have to compromise for your newborn is your ‘me time.’ You probably won’t get even a day off in months, just for yourself. You need to be ready to sacrifice all the time you are getting now. 

That being said, you also have to sacrifice your sleep, rest, and sanity! You’ve got to be present whenever the baby needs you. You have to be ready to consider missing parties, fun events, etc. unless the party is for your baby! If you are ready to give almost all your time to your baby, you’re ready to have it! 

You Are Open To Accept Changes In Your Life

New people in our life bring changes with them. There is no exception for a new human baby. Your baby will bring more changes than your partner ever did! Change is inevitable, but not many of us are open to accepting that.

You need to be open to changes. Embrace all kinds of change, emotional, physical, financial, or even social. It’s like being a door, welcoming all the changes inside. If this sounds like you, you can give childbirth a try! 

You Have A Good Amount Of Savings

Having a child is very expensive! This is undoubtedly the most crucial part of having a baby. You need to have enough money for your child’s upbringing. You need to take your child’s financial responsibilities until they are grown up and have a job!

From diapers to food, clothes, and school, you and your partner have to be responsible paying for the baby essentials. If you don’t have a good savings account, but you both earn a good amount of money, you’re good to go. 

Your Works Are No More Your First Priority 

Like so many other things, you need to take your time off from your job. If you can’t do that, then you at least have to make it your second priority, the first being your child. 

It does not mean you have to give your job less importance, and your partner should also do the same. The more time you both spend with your child, the better their upbringing will be. So, put your job aside for six months to a year, and give them time to nurture your baby!

You And Your Partner Both Want The Child

Often, only one of the spouses wants to have a baby, and the other doesn’t. As a result, one of the parents has to take responsibility for something they weren’t ready for! And this is very dangerous for the child and the relationship between the spouses. 

If your partner is not ready to have a child, you’re forcing your partner into a big mess. Now you have kids and take responsibilities, but your partner seems off because they’re stuck with something they never signed up for! So you start complaining now and then. As a result, both your relationship and the environment for the child are ruined. 

You need to have clear communication about whether you both want the baby or not. If your partner is as happy and excited for the baby, you’ve passed this phase too!

No One Is Pressurizing You Into This

Almost all of the time, couples have kids because of peer pressure. It’s either their parents or relatives who constantly tell them to have kids. Whichever family function they attend, it’s always the old relatives talking about kids.

The parents are fed up with all the advice and decide to have a child, only to stop them finally. They are now stuck in a lifestyle they never wanted from the heart. If there’s no pressure for you to have a baby, it’s a golden chance to have a baby!

You Are Strong Enough To Bear Mental And Physical Pain

We all know or have at least some idea about the physical pain every parent has to go through. But how many of us talk about the mental one? However, while mental frustration and pain are the longer ones, physical and medical health is the more intense ones.

The pain of childbirth, the c-section, and the medications, among several other issues, might seem too much to take. Welcome to the mommy club if you believe you are strong enough to endure all forms of physical and emotional pain.

You Don’t Get Annoyed By Crying And Nagging

Babies can’t do a lot of things. Amongst the few things they can do, crying and nagging are the worst. That too, for 4-5 years! 

This is one of the reasons why people don’t like kids nowadays. Kids would take anything you do against you and start crying! And once they start talking, they will nag now and then. You need to be brave enough to put up with this. 

You Spend Most Of Your Time Researching About Parenting

If you find yourself sitting on the couch most of your time, watching random parenting videos, or reading articles about it, you’ve already passed half the exam!

Parenting is one of the hardest things in this entire universe. The scariest part is that nothing you do or teach your kids will guarantee you a good life for them. The world is designed to make them forget all your teaching and go against you. 

Understanding your kid is the most important thing you can do as a parent. Many parents have to go to therapy after childbirth only for this very reason. So if you’re already doing your research, you are ready to have a child. 

You Are Still An Enthusiastic Person

Like every other job in this world, parenting is also a job—the biggest one. So just like every other job, you need enthusiasm for this too. Otherwise, you’ll get bored with parenting, and you’ll lose the interest you had when you were only thinking about having a baby. 

Most parents get annoyed by parenting and stop caring about the child. They get back to their previous life. As a result, they are labeled as “absent parents.” You need to be a person who is always enthusiastic about whatever you do and never loses interest. 

Signs You Are Not Ready To Have A Baby 

Let’s break it down. You are entitled to an unpaid job for the next 18 years of your life, and you’re not even sure if you’ll get any time off after that. The only thing you will have to focus on is how to make more money to spend on your kids. 

If this gives you nightmares and you’ve paused to reconsider, you must have answers to the question, am I ready to have a baby? Here are signs you are not at all ready to have a child:

You Want babies Because They’re ‘Cute’ 

The media always sugarcoats some harsh truths, to be blunt. Since the media took this job to make everything look either ‘cool’ or ‘cute’, we need to know about its harmful showcases of childbirth. 

Most people always see posts of cute babies, cute parents, and their cute little families in their newsfeed, which makes them want to have a kid. You are not ready for a baby if it sounds like you!

You Are Young

Age is probably one of the most important things to focus on when thinking of having a baby. If you are a baby yourself, you should never even think of this drastic change! 

Most want-to-be-mothers often forget about their age. Always remember, age is a big factor. Because pregnancy can cause many health and medical damages, you need to be physically strong enough to bear that. And this strength comes with age.

You Don’t Like To Share Personal Space

If you are a person who likes to have most of the time by herself and doesn’t like anyone else coming into their personal space, you might give it another thought.

Once you have a baby, you will not have your personal space as much as you did, if not at all. The baby’s going to cry every time you leave it alone. Your baby will be your new ‘personal space.’ 

You’re Unemployed 

This is the most crucial factor of all. Do not think of having kids if you can’t afford it. The expenses only increase day by day. Unemployment will only worsen the risk of it.

The baby will need food and clothing, but it will also need a lot of space for housing and other entertaining things. These factors are as important in a child’s growth as other factors. If you’re unemployed, you can’t afford the extra costs of having a baby in the first place. 

You Want To Have A Baby So That Your Marital Problem Gets Fixed 

You will not believe how many people are who only want kids because they’re not on good terms with their spouses! Silly, right? I hate to break it down to you, but when you’re going through a bad time, you want kids to bring joy. 

Often, the elder people in our lives also support and kind of influence this in our heads. You’re wrong if you want kids because you think it will fix every problem between you and your partner! The problem will only grow, and your baby will suffer. 

Your Career Is The Most Important Thing To You

It’s not a bad thing to put your career on top of your priorities. A career should be the most important thing in someone’s life when they’re not a parent!

A child needs lots and lots of time to be nurtured. They will need teaching. Because they don’t know how to speak, you’ll need to teach them the language first, followed by other lessons.

Your proper time will ensure the child’s proper growth. So if you can’t take out the time from your life and focus on your kids instead of focusing on your career, you need to rethink!

Your Mental Health Is Not Quite Good

You need to be mentally fit before thinking of having a child. Even if your physical health is overlooked, you can’t ignore your mental health.

Parents with mental illness can never give their children a good environment. Their illness will affect the baby from its birth. And the illness will only grow day by day. If you’re not mentally sound, your baby won’t be either. 

Your Partner And You Disagree With Each Other’s Values On Parenting

That’s a thing most parents overlook or don’t even think of before having a child. They don’t talk to each other about their values as parents. Now they have kids without consulting their spouse about what kind of parenting they are thinking about. And the fight starts. 

Parenting is different for each person. What you think is ideal parenting might not be the case with your spouse. Before having a child, you must agree or adjust to each other’s parenting values.

Having different perspectives on parenting can ruin your child’s life. So you both should have one agreed way of parenting and stick to that.

You Think It’d Be An Adventure

Parenting is an adventure. It will be a rollercoaster of every emotion, including the ones you’ve never felt- motherhood. 

But, this should not be the only reason. Because with adventures come risks. And you have to be ready for the risks as much as you’re ready for the adventure. 

If you only care about the adventures and nothing else, you’ll soon feel uninterested. You’ll stop caring for your child because they’re growing up. It’s no more an adventure. This can destroy your child’s life. 

Your Peers Want You To Have Kids  

If the influence of having kids is peer pressure, you should not have kids. Your peers will not be the ones taking care of the child. You will be that person, so you have to want it to happen. And you should only think of having a child when you want it from your heart, not anyone else. 

Family members, particularly the elderly, will irritate you by bringing up the subject of children! Because they have very little left, they’re interested in young people’s lives. Don’t let them decide it for you! 

Things To Consider Before Getting A Child

When you’re thinking of having a child, there are many things you need to take into consideration, such as:

Health Aspects 

You need to change every unhealthy habit in your life. Fill your diet with nutritious food. Consume vitamin D, folic acid, and calcium supplements. If you’re a smoker, quit smoking. 

Do more exercise every day. This will help position the baby inside. If you have any pre-existing diseases such as diabetes, depression, anxiety, hypertension, high blood pressure, obesity, thyroid, or IBS, speak with your physician beforehand. 

If you take any kind of medicine, consult your doctors about that. Quit any kind of anti-depressant or sedative. If you have any genetic illnesses, consider that too. 

Financial Aspects 

You should never think of having a baby if your family’s financial state isn’t very good. Giving birth and raising a kid is very expensive. The first thing you need while thinking about having a baby is a good amount of money in your bank. 

The major expenses are healthcare, food, clothing, housing, and education. Healthcare includes the visit fees to doctors, medications, health checkup tests, and even diapers. Education is not an instant expense, but it comes faster than you think! 

Always remember that these expenses increase every year as your child grows. And the expenses of education grow the most among all other expenses. You’re bound to pay for at least 14 years of your child’s education. If they don’t have a job even after that, you have to pay for their education then too!

Emotional Aspects

Having a baby is life-changing. Women face both positive and negative emotional rollercoasters before and after giving birth. You will be feeling a lot of emotions for the first time. Motherhood is the biggest one of them. 

There will be the good ones and the bad ones. The bad feelings will take the most time. You will feel fulfillment, but you’ll also feel empty. You’ll feel joy, but you’ll also feel your lowest. 

No matter how ready you are for those negative emotions, you can never imagine a mother’s mental state until you go through it. There are a lot of things you might experience in the future. 

Depression and anxiety are common in mothers. Since it’s such a new experience and overwhelming, most mothers feel depressed. You will need to give all your time to your child, and you will have to leave your job. These are the reasons for depression. 

However, if the depression is bad and only increases, it will turn into a mental disease called Postpartum Depression or PPD. It is a complex disorder in a woman’s physical, mental and behavioral ways after giving birth. 

This is dangerous for both the woman and her family. If you feel depressed most of the time, even when you’re with your kid, you need to consult a psychiatrist as soon as possible. 

Insomnia is one of the most common changes in a parent’s life after giving birth. Although it’s normal, it can be very dangerous for your health. Insomnia will only increase your depression and anxiety. You’ll feel more tired and uninterested every day. 

Knowledgeable and compassionate psychologists can help you with all these factors. They can give you the proper medications and lifestyle to improve your concerns. You should always seek therapy in these situations. Good doctors will even talk to you about the risks involved in the procedure. 

It is the doctors’ responsibility and your right to know about all the negative emotional aspects of having a child. Your doctors should inform you about all the information regarding the procedure. Ask questions whenever you feel the need. 

You can reduce the risk of getting mentally ill after pregnancy if you take all the medicines properly and have a good lifestyle. You should take the steps beforehand: 

• Have a good and well-balanced diet. Eat a lot of nutritious food.
• Exercise every day. 
• Don’t smoke, and ask your partner to quit smoking too. 
• Seek parental health care. Don’t hesitate to go to the counselor or therapy if needed.
• Never take drugs that your doctor does not prescribe. 

You can reduce negative emotions and have more time for joy, fulfillment, and happiness with your child if you take the right steps at the right time.

Conclusion 

The feeling of fulfillment can come from many things in your life. You don’t always need to think of having a child if you only think it will complete you. 

The most straightforward answer to, am I ready to have a baby is how often you ask this question. If you’re asking this question to yourself a lot, you’re probably not ready to have a child! I hope this article gave you the answer.